..the Farrelly’s are great at making you empathise with their main characters and are entertainment +shtick masters. We are taken, once again, on a trip to success by goofy, unassuming heroes.

OCT 09.2003 (In Theatres DEC 12) | TEST SCREENER REVIEW

CHRIS PONDERS the ‘Mendes Formula’:
Hey Guys, Kitten and I just attended a test screening for Stuck on You, the Farrelly Brothers’ conjoined twin comedy starring Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Cher, and Eva Mendes. While technically not a full review, as they have a chance to fix many of the problems following the screening, we still thought we’d share our thoughts with you.

Stuck on You is the tale of two conjoined twin brothers who decide to venture off their familiar island territory of Martha’s Vineyard and into the bustling Hollywood scene in LA. Kinnear is an aspiring actor, while Damon is a shy, silent type, who goes along for the ride to meet his “internet pal” of three years, Mei (Wen Yann Shih). Due to some evil plotting by Cher, Kinnear manages to find his way to co-starring in a new hit TV crime drama Honey and Beez. Along the way Kinnear befriends April (Eva Mendes) and Damon tries to hide the fact that he’s a conjoined twin from his net girlfriend Mei. April, Mei, that’s about as clever as this film gets.

The interaction between Kinnear and Damon is pretty funny when the movie gets up to speed. I just wished Damon’s girlfriend would shut the hell up. Her accent made her sound like she was on the verge of crying every time she spoke. It didn’t help that she had the biggest teeth in the world and every time she smiled a full centimeter border of gums surrounded them. She went from shy cutie to Mr. Ed in 0.25 seconds. It seems as long as you’re cute and have big implants you don’t really need to know how to act.

Eva Mendes fluctuates between smoking hot, and uncomfortably handsome. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with her huge fake breasts. Some shots she looks amazing, and in others a possible candidate to dethrone Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It made me wonder if Kinnear had big implants, whether he could pass as a hot Hollywood leading lady. I’m getting sick of fake rock boobs. Give us some tits that bounce, Hollywood! That way I’ll know I’m looking at a real woman.

The film seems bookended by uninteresting filler. It takes a while for the comedy to really start popping, and loses its momentum a good fifteen minutes before the film ends. It may not seem like much, but in a 90 minute film, 15 minutes is pretty bad.

You have quite a few cameos in this film. Roger Fan (Better Luck Tomorrow), Rhona Mitra (Hollow Man), Meryl Streep, Frankie Muniz, Luke Wilson, Jay Leno, Griffin Dunne, and Jack Nicholson. They’re all fun to spot, but aren’t that special.

KRIS QUIPS, ‘Hmm, offensive to retards?’:
Or maybe, offensive to actors? REMINDER: This was a TEST SCREENING, so they may have a chance to switch up +patch up before it is released. The one thing I know they cannot do is reshoot the whole damn thing, so let me just speak in defense of the actors. Since everyone involved seemed a bit contrived, and at times, mannequin-ish and cue-card boorish, I am left to believe that the fault lies in the direction. While watching Farrelly Bros flicks, I sometimes get the feeling that they make their cast bark out their lines over and over and use the brashest take. But it must’ve been fun for actors such as Meryl Streep, Eva Mendes, and Cher to get a little weird and silly. Griffin Dunne, who ironically, usually overacts, was hilarious in his short bit. I wished a little more had been written for Terence Bernie Hines (pictured below), who plays Moe, the ‘narcoleptic’ aspiring scriptwriter/hotel manager.

This was a different role for Matt Damon, who plays the anxiety-addled introvert. He pulls off the normalcy and good-heartedness in this tale of polar opposites, even though it is a bit difficult to believe that someone with a body like his accompanies such a tiny ego. I’ve known a few twins who, although not conjoined, agree that dominance emerges, so the drastic personality difference was believable. Greg Kinnear was brilliant, being the charismatic half in the ‘Jeff Daniels wig’ from Dumb and Dumber. The Farrelly’s must love those haircuts: pairing a shaggy blonde with a chestnut bowl-cut. Guess it ups the laugh factor.

While I realize that everything is done in fun and ‘camp-ifyed’, the ending felt like a cop-out for a Hollywood happy-ending formula. Of course its not supposed to be mind-blowing, but during the course of the film, key points regarding oppression, discrimination, honesty, friendship, teamwork and co-dependency were addressed and actually made sense. Sure it was a little sloppy at times, but still a wonderful effort.

Overall, the Farrelly’s are great at making you empathise with their main characters and are entertainment +shtick masters. We are taken, once again, on a trip to success by goofy, unassuming heroes. Hopefully they are trying to drive home statements of acceptance and not just make fun of the handicapped. In one scene, where their greedy agent tells them its best to cover-up their ‘affliction’ and “deny, deny, deny”, Mendes’ character tells them to “embrace”. This sort-of falls apart at the end, and hopefully they will segueway into something more appropriate. This is also a kindler, gentler film, so those of you who hate fart jokes can breathe a sigh of relief LOL.

NOTE: We'll have more news once the film is released.

--Chris Nelson
--Kris Kobayashi



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