Wanna be on Top?

Posted on May 15, 2006 by Kris Nelson

America’s Next Top Model is my guilty pleasure. It’s the one semi-addictive reality show that has earned a spot on my usual limited nerdite TV roster of Jeopardy! and Mythbusters. While each year churns out a less exciting group of girls to root for, I still try to watch at least half of the show each week. This week it’s down to three girls in Thailand. Ooh who will win? Will it be bubbly Danielle, cocksure Jade or poor ‘lil Joanie, who went through painful oral surgery for 12+ hours in one episode. Joanie may just get the pity vote, plus ANTM has never been a blonde. Danielle has the best personality, but the judges probably won’t let her thick southern accent slide. Jade is a tad bit over-confident, but she’s the most exotic and almost-weird looking one, and that’s top model material. And what model isn’t part diva?

I’m torn between Danielle and Jade; I think Joanie comes across a little back-stabby and I don’t dig her lisp. Danielle is more like a stand-up comedian at times though, but that’s part of her charm. She is a little whiny though. Jade has that androgyny thing going for her and this teeny tiny little waist egads! She’s unconventional and takes risks and that’s so cool. Her mom is some kind of spiritual healer/aura cleanser, so maybe Jade could lend her bohemian appeal to teens, like some hippie spokesmodel. It all depends on how well she memorizes her lines for the upcoming commercial shoot since she flubbed the last one. Oh wow, what a glooorious waste of time ANTM is! Anyways, long story short, I guess I pick Jade. How about you?