BEST OF LISTS

Best and Worst Films 2006 *UPDATED*

We’re back again with our best and worst lists for the year. Once again, our criteria for Best Film status were the films that we truly felt we would watch again. For the nitpickers out there, some of the pictures listed played in their native countries at the tail end of 2005, but weren’t seen abroad until 2006. Therefore, we are including them here. Enjoy!

Best Films

The Banquet
The return of arty Chinese cinema with a pulse. This Eastern take on Hamlet trumps the efforts of “Masters” Kaige and Yimou. Smart, engaging, and completely entertaining. Review here.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Very nice. By far the funniest film of the year. Being that everyone and their mother has seen this film now, I will leave it at that. Review here.

Brick
This tale of a high school gumshoe was exceedingly well written. Furthermore, the treatment of high-schoolers was anything but the usual inferred adult conception of adolescent youth. Kris watched this like four times. Review forthcoming.

Children of Men
Wow. Just…wow. An absolute masterwork by Cuaron, and quite possibly the most important, most relevant, and best picture of the year. He Said She Said review forthcoming.

Dog Bite Dog
Hyper violent, but evidencing a surprising humanity. This HK entry is guaranteed to shock and awe, and may just change your mind about Edison Chen. Review here.

Hard Candy
Who knew a film about a pedophile could be so good? This “little red riding hood with a twist” is as intelligent as it is tense. Review here.

Shinobi: Heart Under Blade
I love this movie. Love it. Ninja action with a message of peace. A beautiful film in all respects. And, thanks to Funimation, it will be coming to home video this year. Review here.

Silent Hill
If you read the site, you know we love this film. Too bad the American DVD is sub-sub par. Well, at least Christopher Gans has announced Silent Hill 2 is in the works. Review here.

Takeshis’
You can’t go wrong with The Beat, and surely can’t go wrong with 500% of him. Kitano’s latest is predictably odd, and predictably entertaining. It’s not for everyone, but we loved it. Review here.

The Wow-Choten Hotel
The film shares quite a similar sort of vibe with Altman’s Prairie Home Companion, only the energy is focused. No disrespect to Altman, but this is by far the superior film. Review here.

Honorable Mentions
Flags of our Fathers
Rampo Jigoku
Lonesome Jim
Drawing Restraint 9

Best 2005 entries we didn’t see until 2006

Everything is Illuminated
This was in and out of the Cineplex in about a week, which is a shame because it’s actually quite good. Liev Schreiber proves an adept director, and it’s nice to see Elijah Wood shake off his hobbit trappings. The film has a heart and raw emotion completely lacking from many of this or last year’s entries. An underrated gem.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
The same case was with Kiss Kiss. In and out like a flash, but the film was smarter and funnier than any action comedy we’ve seen in a long time. If you haven’t already, pick it up.

Hanging Garden.
I would have included this in the 2006 list, but it played Cannes in 2005. Oh well. Hanging Garden is Toshiaki Toyoda’s best film to date. Beautiful, emotional, and real. Kyôko Koizumi delivers an excellent performance as Eriko Kyobashi. If you can find it, see it. Review here.

Worst Films

Night at the Museum
We don’t usually walk out of films, but we did with this one. Endlessly annoying, unfunny, and juvenile. Too bad, because we love the NY Natural History Museum.

The Black Dahlia
Laughable acting from all involved, a terrible story, gimmicky camerawork. It’s really a shame, being that there was so much material to pull from. Sure, the rabid De Palma disciples will find something to worship, but for those not blinded by fandom, the film should be avoided at all costs. Review here.

Superman Returns
How the hell do you make a boring Superman film? Well, just ask Brian Singer. Brandon Routh’s wooden Clark Kent lacks even the shy appeal of Christopher Reeve. Kate Bosworth seems completely lost. Don’t even get me started on Kevin Spacey. Quite the similar case with Black Dahlia; if you’re not a fan, stay far far away.

Miami Vice
Michael Mann is a great director, no doubt about it, but this film is absolute garbage. Jamie Foxx is horribly underused, Colin Farrell makes you laugh, in a bad way, and Gong Li actually comes across as harsh and homely. Add to that some yawn inducing action sequences, a whole bunch of soap opera romance, and 20+ minutes of cell phone convo action, and you’ve got the best sleep aid of the year.

Special Awards

Best Horror Films (TIE) The Descent and Evil Aliens
With the plethora of derivative horror entries, it was quite refreshing to see these two pictures from the UK. The Descent provided non stop thrills, while Evil Aliens footed the bill with nonstop gross-out laughs. Good stuff all around. Review of Evil Aliens, here.

Best Sequel: Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift.
Sure, there were better films. Heck, many sequels were better overall films - but Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift was that rare sequel that left all prior series entries in the dust. It was actually watchable. Plus, any film that wrecks over 100 cars for stunt sequences is okay in my book. Review here.

Biggest Gross Out: Jackass 2
The scene where Pontius downs the jar of bull semen. Oh my god nasty.

Best Remake: The Departed
Okay, I know this is going to piss off a few of our readers, but I thought The Departed was a little bit better than the three Infernal Affairs films. I’m by no means a Scorsese fan, but the film was tighter and more memorable than the three individual entries. I’ve still got love for the originals, but this is an ultra nice Cliffs Notes version.

Best Gonzo Anti-Bush Existential Libertarian Surrealist Soft Porn Nuclear Crisis film: The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai
Nothing delights festival audiences like Anti War films and arty soft porn. And, when the two mix, you get “Best of Festival” accolades out the wazoo. Words cannot describe this flick. It’s the tale of a prostitute who, after being shot in the head, becomes a philosopher genius. Add to the mix an assassin, George Bush’s cloned finger, the teachings of Chomsky, a box that controls all the nuclear weapons in the western world, and a whole bunch of comedic sex, and you’re in for one strange trip. Really, Shortbus has nothing on this.(I think this is as close to a review as you’re going to get, unless you guys demand it).

Best Theater Marquee Pairing: Wassup Rockers? and Sorry Haters
Let’s hear it for the two stupidest titles of the year, paired on a number of cineplexes across the United States. So bad, but surprisingly amusing.

Kid Gloves Award: Curse of the Golden Flower
If you thought Chen Kaige’s Wu Ji (aka: The Promise) treated you like an idiot, just wait till you see Curse of the Golden Flower. The only way you wouldn’t understand the bits of symbolism and “intrigue” in this film would be if you were completely braindead. He Said/She Said review forthcoming.

Ugliest on screen couple: Daniel Craig and Eva Green, Casino Royale
Let it be known: massive pectorals are no substitute for attractive faces. That said, Mr. Smashed and Mrs. Pinched did quite the admirable job with the material. Miles ahead of Die Another Day.

Biggest Tear-jerker: The Pursuit of HappYness
Will Smith did an amazing job of making everyone in the audience cry, despite the short and simple nature of the tale, and the fact you know everything will turn out nice in the end.

Worst Stench of Film School: Stranger than Fiction
The picture has everything in its bag of tricks, except for a soul. Will Ferrell does a decent job with the material, but can’t overcome the overly contrived nature of the script, or the gimmicky use of mood music, camera, and CG. Hoffman and Thompson are horribly underused. A sad state of affairs. Brief review here.

Films we wish we saw:
Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles
Children of Men
Letters from Iwo Jima
Factotum
The Science of Sleep

That’s it! As always, feel free to post your gripes and comments, as well as your own best and worst lists, below.