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Greenlight for Frank Miller’s Ronin

Death Proof movie review

At just 80 minutes Death Proof is Quentin’s shortest film to date, and somehow his most interminable. Overly chatty and under-compelling, its tale of a stuntman/serial killer (a vehicular-homicidal maniac) lulls when it should wow and stalls when it should kick into high gear. The film is broken into two halves, the first concerning a [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Blades of Glory

Blades of Glory is unabashedly funny stuff. Just imagining Will Farrell and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) carving and twirling in ridiculously revealing costumes is giggle worthy, but there were a lot of truly hilarious scenes.
Jon Heder plays beyond innocent if not metrosexual Jimmy MacElroy, adopted by the always uncomfortably comical William [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider was almost like a chick flick with some cool CG. Seriously, where was all the action? I know it was PG-13 but it was so sad. There were too many terribly awkward scenes devoid of chemistry, sexual tension or interest drawn out between Eva Mendes (Roxanne Simpson) and Nicolas Cage [...]

MOVIE REVIEWS . Inside Man, Just My Luck

I Heart New York.. here’s a couple of recent films I watched just because they were filmed in the Big Apple.
Inside Man - The first fifteen minutes of any movie is the clincher, and Inside Man is no exception. Clive Owen’s droning stoic baritone, upbeat India-inspired dance-y multi-keyed background tunes, rolling scenes of [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

So The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is out and the reviews are about as one could have expected. Mainstream critics don’t care for horror movies, nor do they care for prequels, and certainly not horror prequels for horror remakes. Their outraged cries of the disgusting and disturbing nature of these films never fail to [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . The Black Dahlia

When it comes to failed films by renowned directors there seem to be two categories: the modest misses, and flaming cinematic train wrecks. DePalma’s Black Dahlia belongs in the latter, a catastrophic failure of proportions not seen since Verhoven’s Showgirls. The film is chock full of embarrassingly inept acting and sloppy set design, which in [...]

Review Smash! Lady in the Water, Basic Instinct 2, Stray Cat Rock, and more

Lady in the Water
Including a critic in your film, and making him the brunt of jokes and ridicule is guaranteed bad reviews, even if the film is quite good. This is certainly the case with M Night’s latest, Lady in the Water, a tale of a lost sea nymph who winds up in the pool [...]

Fast and the Furious 3 Tokyo Drift movie review screener!

She Said:
So I wanted to see Fast and the Furious 3 because a) it’s in Tokyo and I haven’t been there in ages b) Chris does a mean slide that will evolve into a scary drift when the popo are at bay c) what the hell, it was free. Should I also mention that I [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Memoirs of a Geisha

Over the Christmas weekend Kris and I attended showings of Brokeback Mountain and Memoirs of a Geisha. Having been reading the book for the past few weeks (I tend to read three at a time), and Kris being exceedingly busy with her new work, I decided to tackle the Geisha film myself. What follows was [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . [CapsulePalooza] From Aeon to Zebraman

These past sixteen weeks have been insanely busy for me. A semester of Java, Discrete Math, Calculus and American History more than put a damper on my free time (I’m proud to say I passed all classes with flying colors). What I’d like to do is to present a few quick blurbs about films we [...]

MOVIE REVIEW [SCREENER] . King Kong (2005)

Come see costars get clobbered while the main characters defy gravity and all physics in Peter Jackson’s rendition epic of King Kong! Why, they survive a stampede and avalanche of not one, not two, but a bunch of brontosaurii, not to mention a swarm of freakishly giant lampreys and insects! Naomi Watts as [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Derailed

Kris and I actually snuck into Derailed after watching Jarhead. Smart, subtle, engaging, it was everything this film was not.
Derailed is the story of The Clive (Clive Owen), former teacher, Chicago ad exec (ugh….business people), engaged in a sexless marriage to a beautiful woman and father to a diabetic brat. One day, [...]

MOVIE REVIEW . Domino

Tony Scott has made some truly shitty movies. Revenge, The Last Boy Scout, and Spy Game are all films that the world would be a better place without. But, on the other hand, he has also made a few action classics, as evidenced by True Romance, Enemy of the State, and Top Gun. So when [...]

Red Eye movie review

Again Wes Craven dares to ask the unwanted question: if you remove all exploitative sex and gore from suspense horror, will you be left with an exciting suspense movie? Following in Scream’s successful footsteps, Craven decided to go light on the cussing and bloodying, shooting for PG-13, creating a thrilling popcorn flick sans [...]

The Skeleton Key movie review

In a summer of duds and remakes, ranging from The Fantastic Four to Willy Wonka, the The Skeleton Key provides a welcome change.
Kate Hudson plays a twenty-five year old nurse, Caroline Hudson, hired to care for a bedridden man on an old Louisiana plantation. Plagued by guilt stemming from her absence at her father’s [...]

Dukes of Hazzard movie review

DUKE IT OUT
There was a brief moment where I would’ve admitted that Johnny Knoxville was the hottest thing on the planet. Not as strange as my first real celebrity crush on Ivan Lendl (the stellar stoic tennis pro), but there are some similarities due to their stamina and offbeat handsomeness and trim muscle tone. [...]