Cheerleader Ninjas movie review

by Chris   ⋅   December 14, 2003   ⋅   Comment now   ⋅    RSS

I first heard of Cheerleader Ninjas when I was looking up titles for my Balls Out DVD releases* column two weeks ago. I can’t say I expected much, from the title, and being that the film has a Rock and Roll High School sensibility only at a less than Troma-quality budget, my expectations were lowered even more. But over the week, after receiving a few down to earth posts from Tony Osio, Cheerleader Ninja’s producer, I decided, “Hell, the guy has the time to post on our site. I might as well check out the film.”

Cheerleader Ninjas is not your average low budget film. It’s even lower budget than anything you’ll see, aside from Geek Maggot Bingo. The shot compositions are college film school quality at best (though a damn sight better than the shit cinematography of How to Deal), the acting is some of the most amateurish I’ve ever seen, and the action never rises above fight choreography you could create with your own drunken buddies. But what the hell would you expect from a film entitled Cheerleader Ninjas?

To be honest, more than I would ever have thought. Cheerleader Ninjas is one of the funniest films I’ve seen all year. The rough around the edges guerrilla-geek film sensibility, politically incorrect humor, all out absurdity of the story, and most of all, genuine heartfelt performances, help to raise this film from everyday Troma Quality crap to one of the topmost contenders for cult appreciation I’ve seen all year. Cheerleader Ninjas is a blast.

In short the film is about a Cheerleading team called the Hamsters. Somehow they have pissed off the Catholic Mom’s who have targeted them as the source of all the internet smut that is infecting the minds of their children. They seek the help of a Gay-male cheerleader-reject to coach the reform school girls of Blessed Virgin Sacrifice into cheerleader hating machines. Add to that a convoluted plan to “subvert” the Internet through uploading pictures of the Pope to replace internet porn, as well as another plan by group of hackers who want to subvert the previous plan in order to turn the nation’s internet users into cyberspace zombies. The cheerleaders have to team up with their sworn enemies, the computer nerds, in order to snuff out the Catholic, hacker, reform school menaces and make the world safe again for societal deviants everywhere.

Cheerleader Ninjas is a film with its tongue protruding three feet through its cheek. It features giant robot dildo fights, more blowup dolls than you can shake a stick at, and more off colour humour than the whole American Pie series. No one is spared from the comic razing its writers have engineered. Gays, lesbians, hicks, Catholics, geeks, perverts, and more are all fair game. In fact, many geek staples, from Star Trek, Star Wars, Highlander, Back to the Future, X-Files, to American Beauty are all affectionately made fun of throughout the film. It’s actually a lot of fun to sit back and see how many references you can spot. (It can also serve as a borometer for calculating the severity of your geek-tasticness.)

All in all, Cheerleader Ninjas was one of the nicest surprises I’ve seen in the past two months. While I did find the last fight to drag on a bit, and the film is on a bare bones disc, it’s definitely worth a look. Grab your friends, some nachos, beers and whatnot, sit back, and have a blast. Cheerleader Ninjas is a nice reminder that stupid can still be quite fun.

*Balls out DVD Releases was a column I used to do for Film Rotation under the byline GopherKhan.

About the Author:

Chris Nelson has been an avid film fan since the age of six. His all-time splatter favorites include Lady Snowblood, Evil Dead 2, Re-Animator and Razorback.

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