Most people believe that a dolphin pours freezing cold water on a tape recorder…

by Kris   ⋅   October 10, 2006   ⋅   Comment now   ⋅    RSS

The reason I reread this first sentence (quoted below) was actually because at first glance, I was like “wait, state changing (liquefied) dolphins? Cool”.

Now I don’t want to encourage it, but sometimes skimming through spam is a hoot. But what if it isn’t a word randomizer, but actually some guy in his basement feverishly typing out LSD-trip-tastic text, one paragraph after trippy paragraph. And maybe there are people out there who receive these emails and actually read them all the way through, ready to nominate this “next William Burroughs” for some trendy literature prize. Or perhaps they anthropomorphize it all, like I am right now, wondering why oh why can’t the salad dressing be virtuous for once and what exactly happened between the microscope and the power drill and the carpet tack should be with the earring not the bowling ball! And then that darned CEO getting into everyone’s business! And what happened to the chestnut..? The chestnut

Most people believe that a dolphin pours freezing cold water on a tape recorder, but they need to remember how thoroughly the cloud formation beams with joy. For example, some avocado pit indicates that a tabloid competes with a power drill. A scythe secretly admires an incinerated apartment building. Most people believe that some salad dressing feverishly makes a truce with a roller coaster behind a CEO, but they need to remember how single-handledly a South American cheese wheel flies into a rage.

Another load bearing short order cook Another load bearing short order cook

Furthermore, a short order cook beyond the bartender wakes up, and a college-educated blithe spirit secretly admires a traffic light. For example, the treacherous dolphin indicates that a mating ritual can be kind to a linguistic mating ritual. Indeed, the federal crank case makes a truce with a girl scout. Most people believe that a skinny polar bear dances with another wheelbarrow beyond a short order cook, but they need to remember how almost a twisted submarine gets stinking drunk. A CEO from the ball bearing avoids contact with a skyscraper from a jersey cow. Furthermore, a recliner prays, and the blithe spirit related to some tabloid bestows great honor upon another senator toward a chess board. Another cloud formation over a minivan sanitizes the bullfrog. When you see the revered fighter pilot, it means that the cashier flies into a rage. The earring buries a moronic deficit. A roller coaster of a cowboy shares a shower with a mastadon.

A diskette non-chalantly learns a hard lesson from a polar bear from an ocean. The cantankerous pickup truck learns a hard lesson from some CEO near the tape recorder. When a hockey player is geosynchronous, the photon goes deep sea fishing with the precise blithe spirit. A psychotic wheelbarrow makes love to a pickup truck. When the pathetic grand piano is feline, the tornado overwhelmingly makes love to the crank case of some traffic light. A chestnut

Most people believe that the cheese wheel satiates an abstraction living with a senator, but they need to remember how carelessly the fat scythe returns home. If the carpet tack living with an earring negotiates a prenuptial agreement with the bowling ball, then a tripod for a tape recorder ceases to exist. A parking lot avoids contact with a flabby girl scout. When a submarine for the fighter pilot is knowingly Alaskan, a vacuum cleaner pees on a football team for some mating ritual. If a statesmanlike briar patch underhandedly avoids contact with the dolphin, then the proverbial dolphin reads a magazine. Most people believe that a dolphin pours freezing cold water on a tape recorder, but they need to remember how thoroughly the cloud formation beams with joy. For example, some avocado pit indicates that a tabloid competes with a power drill. A scythe secretly admires an incinerated apartment building. Most people believe that some salad dressing feverishly makes a truce with a roller coaster behind a CEO, but they need to remember how single-handledly a South American cheese wheel flies into a rage.

When a microscope leaves, a power drill rejoices. A parking lot borrows money from a tuba player defined by some dust bunny. A gratifying food stamp hibernates, and a line dancer procrastinates; however, the paper napkin single-handledly figures out a hole puncher. A bowling ball beyond a cough syrup figures out the globule. Indeed, the steam engine has a change of heart about a mating ritual. A steam engine defined by the prime minister ruminates, but an accurately tattered garbage can inexorably plays pinochle with the hockey player living with another eggplant. The spartan squid plays pinochle with another slow defendant. An asteroid rejoices, and the dolphin toward the sheriff pours freezing cold water on a green cough syrup. A cargo bay greedily operates a small fruit stand with the apartment building behind a hockey player. The linguistic hockey player is usually spartan.

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