A Chinese Torture Chamber Story — dvd movie review

by Chris   ⋅   November 25, 2007   ⋅   Comment now   ⋅    RSS

Ah, the classic Category III film. Their slew of absurd violence, near always strung together by a nonsensical plot, haphazard camerawork, and out-there acting, really make these an acquired taste — and quite possibly one that is easy to grow out of. For, as much as I have enjoyed the shocking lack of artistry delivered over the years by Wong Jing’s Workshop, I found A Chinese Torture Chamber Story to wear on my patience. Which is a bit surprising, as it may, in fact, be the ultimate Category III film ever, a haphazard cocktail of 200-proof ultra violence and carefully distilled T&A.

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story relates the tale of a young Qing dynasty woman, named Little Cabbage, on trial for the death of her husband. You see, due to a rather unfortunate incident involving a too potent aphrodisiac, her overly endowed partner experienced something of a penile explosion – the massive blood-loss involved rending him to the next world. The court, intent on getting Little Cabbage to confess her (perceived) sexual sabotage sets about a questioning and evidence gathering session using the five tortures of the Qing dynasty (Rendition anyone?). As the punishments rack up, Little Cabbage’s story is divulged: her sale to a young landlord by her poor family, the sexual gymnastics witnessed by her within his domicile, her discovery of his cheating wife, and her subsequent contractual marriage to her former partner. But even as the evidence to the contrary mounts up, the court remains intent on her confession. Can Little Cabbage prove her innocence, or will the sick torturers send her to her grave?

In telling its tale, A Chinese Torture Chamber Story relies heavily on two main components: scenes of torture and scenes of sex. The former range from simple spankings to cringe-inducing fingernail pulling, including a final torture so painful I must leave it for the viewer to discover. Suffice it to say, these are often as absurd as they are discomforting, providing laughs at the same time as gags, but most are perfectly in line with historic tortures (see: the Torture Museum ).

Then there are the sex sequences, toward which the film devotes far more screen-time. The majority of these are head-scratchingly bizarre, so far removed from eroticism as to make one wonder exactly how long director Bosco Lam has been a citizen of this planet. Seriously, these sequences resemble less the exploration of libidinous congress than the wrestling matches of crackheads. Sure, some of these are intended to be comedic, including the one of lesbian eye-nippling, but for the most part it’s as if the filmmakers had knowledge of a handful of the motions involved, but no idea as to the feeling or emotion associated with them, and decided to venture forth undeterred.

But there is one shining reason to see this film: the sequence of flying Kung-Fu Sex. It comes completely out of left-field, and is easily one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages. I could attempt to describe it, but most likely you wouldn’t believe me until you saw it yourself (I know I didn’t when my friend first told me). Suffice it to say, sexual positions are called out in kung-fu move fashion, bodies are flung and spun with tilt-a-whirl abandon, and more gallons of semen are loosed than in the entire conclusion to Walerian Borowczyk’s The Beast. It’s completely insane, and riotously funny.

It is worth noting, however, the rampant chauvinism on display in the picture. Women are mistreated again and again, slapped around, bound, gagged, assaulted — I really didn’t care for it. I know I’ve reviewed a lot of Japanese Sukeban films where this exact same thing occurs, but at least in those films the woman gets to have the last laugh, killing her attackers in glorious and shocking displays of retributive ultra-violence. While Little Cabbage is undeniably this film’s heroine, she is more a deferential punching bag than anything else. She never gets a chance to fight back, nor does she really look for one. In that sense, I found the film’s depiction of these events to be more than a bit disconcerting, even if some bizarre comedy was the intention.

When evaluated on regular terms, A Chinese Torture Chamber Story is an exercise in cinematic incompetence, a film so slap-shod and out of touch with absolutely everything it depicts, it manages to be astonishingly funny and completely off-putting at the same time. As a Category III movie, however, it is a little more palatable, though its excess of completely un-erotic sex sequences had me hitting the fast forward button like a lab rat hitting the food dispenser. Furthermore, the aforementioned chauvinism had me feeling like a bit of a dirt bag for even completing the film. I’m sure there’s an audience for this film (heck, I might have been one in my earlier years), but as it is, I found A Chinese Torture Chamber Story to be a bit juvenile and tedious.

The DVD
Diskotek’s release of A Chinese Torture Chamber Story marks the clearest transfer I’ve ever seen for a mid-nineties Hong Kong film. Seriously, the thing looks amazing. Even the best Mei-Ah or Tai Seng transfers of films from this period tend to look somewhat beat up, scratched, or faded — a good ten years older than they actually are. But with this Discotek transfer the film looks brand new. It’s crisp, clear, scratch-free, and super bright. Audio is also a good deal better than most other HK DVDs I own, and while merely Dolyb 2.0 stereo, seemed quite rich and full. Accompanying this track are your choice of a brand new, literal English translation, and the original wonky Hong Kong subtitles. The former are quite nice, and free from random yoda-speak that plague most of these older translations, while the latter features these in droves, adding yet another layer to the already absurd goings on.

The disc is a bit slim on the extras, featuring the aforementioned flying sex scene by itself, star bios for the two main stars, a stills gallery, and a collection of other Discotek trailers, including Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs, Ebola Syndrome, and the forthcoming Evil Pussy (This actually looks pretty funny).

It’s also worth noting that the DVD menus mark the best graphical designs ever for a Discotek release. In fact, they make A Chinese Torture Chamber Story look halfway like a respectable film!

All in all, this is a noteworthy release. I may not have cared for the movie in its entirety, but it is hands down the best looking release of a 90’s Hong Kong film I’ve ever seen. The disc is quite affordable, though with its cover design it might be a bit hard to locate in your local DVD or record store. If you’re into Category III films, it’s definitely worth a look. However, if you like your films to make sense, or exercise even a modicum of taste, you might want to skip this one.

About the Author

Chris Nelson has been a film fanatic since age six. A former film and English major, he is now a Software Engineer and contract Technical Writer living in the Silicon Valley.

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