Animals

Google loves dogs and dog people

by Kris   ⋅   January 3, 2007   ⋅   Comment now   ⋅    RSS

No confirmation on this just yet, but I heard that Google’s hiring criteria has just gotten even weirder. If you weren’t lucky enough to fall into the nepotism or Stanford alumni hiring line, you may have been scrutinized for all the little details including your college GPA, a practice more commonly reserved for high-end law firms. Google realized that for the New Year, they needed to unleash a crazier resume sifter.

The rumor is that Google will inquire about your High School involvement, particularly concerned with whether or not you started a club or organization of some sort. Apparently, being a mere member of the debate or glee club just means that you’re lame. I get that they are trying to weed out the innovators from the followers, but still. I belonged to and was an officer in fifty billion clubs in High School, but I didn’t found a single one. I also didn’t place Gold in the Olympics in High School. And I’m in the All-American Scholar and Who’s Who annuals, but not in Guiness World Records Book. Boo for me. Google would spit on me. No $475/stockshare for you! Ptooey-too!

Also, because the Google HQ campus in Mountain View is so canine-friendly (you can bring your dog to sleep at your feet in your cubicle and nosh off your scraps of free gourmet cafeteria food) they are conducting a study on the correlation between work performance and the type of pet you prefer. Would they endure lawsuit claims against them from bird, rodent or fish owners discriminated against because of their pet preference? Would Urban Dictionary change the definition of “google” to “must love dogs”? Is it safe to say that Chris and I would never be hired at Google simply because we’re cat people? Rawwr.