Asian

MOVIE REVIEW . Kunoichi: Lady Ninja

Late last night after many hours of a weekend Java programming class I decided to raid the queue of cult Japanese films. Having played a Playstation demo for Genji: Dawn of the Samurai earlier in the week, Kunoichi: Lady Ninja seemed like the logical choice.

Kunoichi: Lady Ninja (aka: Kunoichi ninpô chô Yagyû gaiden: Edobana jigoku-hen) is another take on the Makai Tensho series involving the demon fighting Jubei Yagyu, Japan’s most famous one-eyed-swordsman. For the uninitiated, Makai Tensho is the tale of a feudal lord of the Tokugawa clan who abuses his power and enslaves all the women of “marrying age” in surrounding prefectures. Sometimes the lord seeks to raise a demon from hell and take over the world, and sometimes he just likes to collect women and do bad things. Regardless, the tale is quite famous, and Jubei’s adventures have been depicted in more than a handful of films, both live action and anime, as well as videogames such as Onimusha 2.

Kunoichi: Lady Ninja’s take on the basic tale of involves a band of cute nuns who come from a long line of female ninja (Yup, no ‘s’ needed. It’s just like “Samurai”). When the evil feudal lord (this time a cross dresser) gets a hankering to add the nuns to his dungeon harem by force , he sends his demon minions to the nunnery to acquire them by force. There they kill a few nuns and incur the wrath of their spiritual guardian. Realizing the danger evil demons and horny warlords pose, said spiritual guardian informs the women of their dormant ninja powers, and scares off the band of demons. This of course and infuriates the warlord, who decides if he cannot have them, they must die. The nuns, now ninja, then seek out the aid of the aforementioned Jubei to take revenge on the lord and restore the honor of their convent. Needless to say the carnage and bloodshed ensue.

Oddly enough I found this film more interesting than Makai Tensho: Samurai Resurrection, directed by Kinji Fukasaku and starring Sonny Chiba as Jubei. The storyline is more than a bit confusing, but the crazy fights and arterial spray make this film a much better candidate for midnight viewing. For example, each Lady Ninja has a crazy superpower that awakens when they are in the heat of battle. One, called “Ninja Shockwave Nipples”, involves a lightning breast attack, and the other, called “ripple effect”, could be better termed the “vaginal- absorption-bullfrog-belch attack.” On the other side of the battle are demons with powers such as evil “eyeballs from hell” and faster than light sword attacks. The film also features a key scene involving Jubei spinning on the floor and lopping off the legs of his attackers with his sword; a move stolen by Tarantino in Kill Bill Vol 1. Topping it off the Midnight Madness are a bevy of naked breasts and the strangest dub and subtitle track translation difference this side of the original subbed and dubbed versions of Akira. There are whole sequences where the dialogue doesn’t even match up between the two. Watching both at the same time provides more than a few laughs, as apparently even the translators got a bit confused as to where the story was going!

The main stars of the film include cult actors Yuko Moriyama (Moon over Tao, Iria) as Ochie (Pronounced like O-chi-ey, not “O-chee” as they say in the dub), the leader of the lady ninja, and Hitoshi Ozawa (Gozu, Alive) as Jubei. Neither performance is outstanding, but that is sort of to be expected given the material. That said, Moriyama does her cute thing and hair-storm-attack successfully and Ozawa proves to be one of the more interesting Jubei’s to hit the screen.

All in all Kunoichi: Lady Ninja is not a great film, but it never really set out to be. The film is more than a bit confusing, but the crazy superpowers and bloody fights make it an enjoyable watch. Granted, it’s not in the same league as Shogun Assassin, or Lady Snowblood, but it’s worth a late night watch with some close friends on a lazy weekend.

About the Author:

Chris Nelson has been an avid film fan since the age of six. His all-time splatter favorites (”samurai” and otherwise) include Lady Snowblood, Evil Dead 2, Re-Animator and Razorback.