Astonishing — Female Yakuza Tale — Hostel — Final Fantasy Advent Children — movie reviews
So here are a few more quick reviews of films I couldn’t, or wouldn’t devote more time to. And to those looking for bad reviews, you’ve got a couple to keep you entertained.
Astonishing (aka: Jing xin dong po) – The only astonishing thing about this film is how terrible it is. The film, concerning main character Mandy (Christy Chung, Bride with White Hair II)’s sudden loss of her own identity works on a brilliant concept, and one of my wife’s favorite topics of discussion, regarding whether one’s identity is entirely their own, or simply a manifestation of the community member’s shared perceptions. Alas, the story is so painfully stupid I wanted to pull my hair out. Over a half hour of pointless flashbacks and chronic blaring music scare-queues without companion visual elements, and as soon as the story gets back on track the film suddenly diverges into utter nonsense. Christy Chung, admittedly a pretty actress (however not in this film), should never be given another starring role. Director Herman Yau should be shot. Twice.
Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture – A lesser sequel in nearly every sense of the word, director Teruo Ishii’s followup to Norifumi Suzuki’s Sex and Fury, has lost track of the fun and artfulness of the original. Sure, it’s colorful, but the story for the most part is merely a chain of pervo-set pieces with a little action thrown in to round out the package. This time Ocho (Reiko Ike) has somehow crossed paths with drug smugglers who use prostitutes’ “talents” to smuggle their wares. Thus, you’re treated to quite a lot of shots of lecherous drug insertion and extraction, without crossing into full pornographic territory. When the story isn’t concerned with nudity and sex, Ocho’s investigation into the drug ring is quite interesting, and the film regains at least a modicum of the fun of the original. The end sword battle was clearly an inspiration for the House of Blue Leaves fight, what with its mass of combaters (yakuza versus nude swordswomen) and the general layout of the battlefield, however the action doesn’t seem polished, or even that choreographed for that matter. Asian film historian, Chris D, attributes this to the director’s lack of time and money, but it doesn’t excuse the film from being such a lesser entry in the series.
Hostel – Eli Roth’s followup to Cabin Fever (which I must admit we loved) is thirty minutes of pathetic jackasses mouthing off and fucking chicks in Amsterdam, another thirty of them getting their just desserts at the hands of European torturers, and a final thirty which whips the film into action picture territory. With no direct references to steal from, director Eli Roth can’t seem to direct himself out of a hat. The film has a lazy visual sensibility; scenes are framed more like tourist snapshots than professional compositions (A big change after devoting so much time to the Pinky Violence Collection). Sure, the color drains as the boys go from sexland to tortureville, but that’s about the only artistic touch present. His “dialogue” is of the caliber one would expect of a committee of high school jocks or San Jose Spartan Daily staff writers. When it’s not busy gay bashing it’s making ham-handed attempts at social and racial commentary. The gore effects are pretty good though, and there are some moments which are genuinely shocking. The Takashi Miike cameo is a nice addition, but also a sign that his popularity is no longer limited to the underground — Let’s just hope he doesn’t go the way of John Woo. Hostel is a stupid film, with more than its fair share of annoying characters, but it might just prove interesting if you’re the type that has previously mistaken The Sixth Sense and its ilk for horror films.
Final Fantasy Advent Children – In a word, beautiful. Some of the best CG work I have ever seen. Sadly the story of Cloud, Tifa, et al’s adventures post-Shinra may prove a bit convoluted, even for die hard fans of Final Fantasy VII. Advent Children is an amazing treat for fans, but may leave regular viewers scratching their heads. Short, I know, but I promised to write something.
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