Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — movie review — screener!
Chris and I love gore gore horrorfests, but no scene ever made me want to shield my eyes and turn away as did a certain clip in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. It started out as a fair fight between Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Kazakh film producer Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian), albeit a little slippery because Borat had just emerged from a long languid bubble bath. He is shocked to find Azamat making “sexytime” with his hand to a sacred archetype of modern literature and beaux arts: the Baywatch photobook. Borat, like many men and boys, fell in love at first sight with Pamela Anderson’s character C.J. on the bouncy lifeguardette TV show, and his precious photobook (stolen from a midwestern “gypsy”’s yard sale) is his most prized possession in a strange and unfriendly America. He pounces on Azamat like a lioness on a gazelle, accidentally ending up in hilarious positions more frequently found in the Kama Sutra than in Hollywood films. As you probably already guessed, both men are completely naked and while Borat’s privates have been tastefully blackbarred, Azamat’s is only hidden by his fat rolls. Azamat is a bulging porcine behemoth with a big hairy arse. He glibly makes Borat’s face disappear by sitting on it and his contender can only attempt to part the crusty cheeks in order to breathe. Lovely. They then streak through the rest of their hotel and through a mortgage brokers convention (take that you filthy bloodsuckers!) Yes indeedy, it was almost too much blubber to bear. But that is one of the many many MANY side-splitting riots in this barely one-and-a-half-hour movie.
This reminds me of a joke I once heard: “How do you make 5 pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it”. This may be the reason for Borat’s obsession with Pamela Anderson, and it takes him away from his documentary reporting in New York City all the way across the country to California. As you can guess, this is not your average roadtrip movie. Borat and Azamat go from frightening children with their “attack bear” in an old ice cream truck, to being frightened of an elderly Jewish couple who “shape-shift” into cockroaches in the middle of the night. Borat chats with feminists, showers with gay men, tries to purchase a James Bond golden gun, enlists a humor coach and a driving instructor, shocks an etiquette teacher with nude polaroids of his son Huey Lewis, asks a GM salesman to show him where the “pussy magnet” is located in a brand new Hummer, has the time of his life with a portly prostitute, is saved by Jesus freaks, wipes out an entire table of antiques, commends Americans on their “war of terror”, and politely poops in a plastic bag at a fancy dinner party. He also has a lot of fun when he tries to hang with da homies and they teach him ebonics and how to properly interact with “vanilla faces” who turn out to be “player haters”. They’ve come a long way from Kazakhstan, where the only forms of entertainment include the “Running of the Jews” (like Spain’s Running of the Bulls), sunbathing in a dayglo rubberband banana hammock (pictured above) and trashtalking neighboring country Uzbekistan.
What’s really clever about Sacha Baron Cohen’s screenplays is that he includes some of the most raunchy, disgusting and outlandish personalities, yet he walks away endeared with an adoring audience. (Sure there are a lot of haters, but I’m talking about the people with an actual sense of humor). His Kazakhstanian ambassador brings humility through his naïve thirst for awareness and through his disappointing stumbles, like when he realizes Pamela Anderson isn’t an innocent virgin. Borat also encounters a man who suggests he shave off his mustache so that he looks less like a terrorist and more like an Italian (pronounced eye-talian). And while Cohen is pretending to gather knowledge, allowing others to proffer advice and encouragement, he is laughing away in the editing room. The best part is that he proves that even someone as crass and shameless as Borat Sagdiyev possesses more civility than those who call themselves upper class.
I had almost as much fun writing this review, remembering key scenes, as I did watching the movie. Go see it, but go with an open mind and an open heart, because that’s how Borat came to America.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan opens November 3, 2006.
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