The Black Dahlia movie review
When it comes to failed films by renowned directors there seem to be two categories: the modest misses, and flaming cinematic train wrecks. DePalma’s Black Dahlia belongs in the latter, a catastrophic failure of proportions not seen since Verhoven’s Showgirls. The film is chock full of embarrassingly inept acting and sloppy set design, which in turn are further compounded by gimmicky direction, a meandering plot. And, as much as we try to point out the merits of even the worst film, any way you cut it, The Black Dahlia is unwatchable.
Originally attached to David Fincher (along with other lost projects Rendezvous with Rama and Restauraunt Confidential), this adaptation of James Ellroy’s Black Dahlia had seen roughly five years of development hell before being snatched up by DePalma. While Fincher’s name and LA cred alone ensured a pitch black noir guaranteed to make you squirm, DePalma’s realization is one you might expect of a first year film student; irresponsibly indulgent, with more than a hint of sexual immaturity, jammed pack with references to David O. Selznik and 1940’s era films (“Hey guys, I’m cultured! These lezzes is art!”). But then again DePalma was never known for subtlety. I’d venture to say he’s the American Argento, opting for style over substance at every turn. But the worst part of it all is, despite being handed a narrative concerning LA’s most notorious unsolved murder, DePalma manages to lose sight of the mystery before the film even gets out of the gate. What we end up with are a series of strange domestic and “romantic” interactions centering around Josh Hartnet’s character, a smidgen of police work, and a half-assed plot twist. In short, a whole bunch of nothing.
Fiona Shaw seems to be channeling Molly Shannon. She’s completely bonkers, and the sole interesting actor in the picture. Scarlett Johanson’s big dumb face seems completely lost in every scene. You can actually see her counting the seconds needed before delivering her lines, but forgetting to even bother looking pensive. Hillary Swank has fallen far 
from Boys Don’t Cry, Aaron Eckhardt still carries that In the Company of Men (and now Thank You For Smoking) stigma, and Josh Hartnet, though we like to give him the benefit of the doubt, seems horribly lost. I can only hope that this film bodes well for Mia Kirshner’s career. Enough time has passed since The Crow: City of Angels for her to deserve a legitimate chance about now. Thank god she looks nothing like Hillary Swank.
The Black Dahlia will have its fair share of fans, namely the ultra die hard DePalma fanboys (You know, the ones that actually liked Raising Cain). But for anyone with their head screwed on tight, The Black Dahlia is a must miss.
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Well, I wouldn’t say this film was horrible. Confusing, yes? This film spends a lot of time jumping around and by the end I barely knew what was going on. For me that means watching it a second time before I completely give up on it.
The unfortunate thing about this story is that it is truly horrendous and would make a great film. From newspapers clawing to get exclusives, mixing up details, and even dubbing Elizabeth Short “The Black Dahlia” (in reference/parody to The blue Dahlia), to the absolutely disturbing way in which Elizabeth was murdered… you would need to change almost NOTHING.
Elizabeth Short wasn’t an actress, she was a waitress. She hopped from town to town, lived in hotels, was engaged to a military pilot, and was terrifically beautiful. Days before she went missing she was in San Diego and got a ride into LA from her friend “Red”. Then she was gone, found almost a week later in a field. A body cut in half, a jagged smile learing from ear to ear, positioned in a mock sexual pose… she was truly mutilated.
While this crime remains unsolved, we’re given this. A movie that may as well have been a complete fabrication, but I guess in parody of the media… we again have someone naming something out of the blue for no reason other than that it is sensational.
No news sells like bad news.
My bullshit detector is good…
DePalma…
you’re on notice!
“Catastrophic”? “Embarrassing”?
There we go again, De Palma has created art for people who’ve forgotten how to watch art. Business as usual for him, and for the current state of criticism, I guess.
And “Showgirls” was a masterpiece.
http://www.cinepassion.org
Thanks for the feedback guys. Alex, great job on the Dahlia info. Fernando, nice to hear from you again. I love your sarcasm. Wait…that was sarcasm, right?
Nice to be back, Chris. Great writing, despite the basic wrongheadness. :)
No sarcasm, “Showgirls” is a great movie and most people are too dumb to see it. I also resent the Argento bit as a negative thing, but whatcha gonna do?
It’s “Raising Cain,” by the way.
Now get yo ass over to my page and leave a comment.
Thanks Fernando. Love those backhanded compliments. Keep em coming. I must say though, Showgirls is damn near unwatchable. A plethora of bare breasts is fun for a minute or two, but if there’s no real story to back it up, there’s no reason for me to waste my time. And Argento? For every Suspiria he has made a Stendhal Syndrome, an Inferno, and a Card Player. I’ll be sure to check out your wrongheaded review asap. ;)
Stupid troll. Dahlia was balls.
Your right. This was garbage. Can you believe the fucking tools that think this was good? DePalma needs to retire.
Scarlett Johannson was awful. DePalma is even worse than ever.
Lol. I didn’t see this one. Yup, Johannson was terrible. I don’t think DePalma can get worse than Raising Caine though.
Harry Knowles said that he liked this movie because it spoke to his penis. And you know, I can see that. It spoke to mine as well, and it said “why are you not out doing something better with your friday night”. This movie was balls. I’m glad you called DePalma on it.