Men’s Pocky — munchies review
Posted on September 13, 2006 by Chris Nelson
Most people know of Pocky whether they’re fans of Japanese candy or not. But, there’s a new Pocky on the block you may not know about: Men’s Pocky, a dark chocolate Pocky that’s as bittersweet as it is potent. I had to try it out.
The instant the first stick of Men’s Pocky touched my tongue, I noticed a difference in myself. I felt fitter, stronger, more attractive to the opposite sex. I could lift a truck with my bare hands, single handedly inseminate a herd of women, fix small electronics. I was Pockified.
I decided to try my new skills on my wife. “Honey,” I said with my newfound macho timbre, “would you go make me a sandwich?”
”I’m doing something right now,” she replied. “You sure you can’t make it yourself?” Apparently wives are immune to the powers of Pocky. I stood up and headed out into the world, in an effort to accurately test my Pocky powers.
Aside from the notice I received due to my sudden, immense attractiveness, I found the Pocky to help in all sorts of facets of daily life. I found I could win debates with politicians without researching the issues, be offered jobs I wasn’t qualified for, get a good deals used cars. I was a man’s man and everyone knew it. I told off color jokes to feminists, threw footballs in parking lots, flexed. If I were only thirty-five years older I could get straight to making an autistic baby. It was brilliant.
But alas, my supply of Men’s Pocky eventually ran out. As of this moment, writing of my Pocky experience, I’ve long since returned to the true me. A humble writer, programmer, student, husband. I haven’t yet picked up another box of Men’s Pocky, for that Pocky power is a dangerous thing, and one I don’t quite trust myself with. That said, I would certainly recommend it for enterprising single young males.
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