News Cap — 05/02/06
On Thursday, Friday and Monday, Canadians discovered what their Prime Minister eats for breakfast. Scrolling LED signs on the sides of Canadian mass transit that usually cite upcoming events or advertisements proudly proclaimed “Stephen Harper Eats Babies” over and over again. A spokesperson for the GO Transit system asserts it was the work of a hacker. Many Canadian bloggers speculated that the message implied he eats only gay and impovershed infants, while others boasted anti-Semitic remarks about his hankering for drinking babies’ blood. Apparently this is not the first time a PM’s name was dragged through the mud. Last April, Harper’s own Director of Communications called the then PM-in-office “Osama bin Martin”, which he claims was a joke. In 2003, an illustration of Ariel Sharon (former PM of Israel) biting the head off a Palestinian child was named UK’s “Political Cartoon of the Year”. And America is not immune to this sick humor: a few years ago John Kerry and GW Bush were poorly photoshopped into munching on baby burgers.
Iran says, “hey America, you wanna play rough? Well we can play just as rough. You attack us, we’re gonna target Israel. Heck, like we even need another excuse to attack those dudes.” Reuters.com reported that “Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has called for the Jewish state to be ‘wiped off the map’”.
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Last Wed in India a man drank one of two bottles of three-year-old Pepsi and became violently ill. He claimed there was dirt in it. And that’s just part of the good news. He was awarded 20,000 rupees ($450) because the unopened bottle had a condom floating in it. Last year in India, someone found a frog in their Pepsi. Yum.
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Legalize it. At least possession of it. Mexico is close to passing a bill allowing people to lawfully tote their marijuana, heroin, cocaine, opium, peyote, LSD or shrooms. In a country known for hardy partying (in Baja 1 in 8 abuse narcotics), many say that Mexico’s projected slogan will be “Mexico, the New Amsterdam”.
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In 2002, Euro notes replaced a dozen European currencies, one of which was the Deutschmark. Last month a cleaning crew was called to a blocked pipe in Kiel Germany where a little old man had flushed 30,000 marks ($18,900) down the john because he thought they were worthless. Police escorted him to the bank.
