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Review Smash! Lady in the Water, Basic Instinct 2, Stray Cat Rock, and more

Lady in the Water
Including a critic in your film, and making him the brunt of jokes and ridicule is guaranteed bad reviews, even if the film is quite good. This is certainly the case with M Night’s latest, Lady in the Water, a tale of a lost sea nymph who winds up in the pool of a Pennsylvania apartment complex. So much of the bad press for this contemporary fantasy is unwarranted, but what would you expect from lonely basement dwellers whose only relationships are those experienced vicariously though the cinematic lens? Time and time again the film states it is a bedtime story. Thus things may not work on a purely logical level. People will come to believe in things a little too quickly, fantastical things will happen, and there will be cutesy stabs at humor. If you pick it apart you might as well go back to your elementary school librarian and complain about the impossibility of pigs mastering masonry, or the fact that a wolf’s lung capacity is inadequate for blowing down even a straw building. Lady in the Water is an intriguing tale, and one that kept me interested from the start to the finish. Though the film is rather straightforward, all necessary hints are present and accounted for, woven skillfully though the narrative. Just pay attention to people’s occupations and interests, and you won’t get lost. Don’t believe the hate. Check it out for yourself.

Basic Instinct 2
As my friend stated so eloquently, “Sharon Stone is the one non-porn actress who can safely say that her vagina made her famous.” The original Basic Instinct was a trashy classic, filled with raw sex, violence, more sex, and a genuinely thrilling plot. This second entry is everything the first film was not. Dull, tedious, and flaccid. As far as the sex stuff is concerned, you have brief glimpses of Stone’s fake breasts, wig, varicose veins, and a cart full of man ass. As far as the story? The script writer should be shot. This thing wouldn’t even cut it on late night Skinemax. Sharon Stone, we don’t pay to see you act. We deserve a refund.

Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie UNCUT DVD
The Unrated cut of Street Fighter II was one of my most watched Anime Videos back in the day. The film offered some of the most fluid animation around, a hard rocking soundtrack, and some truly awesome fight scenes. This new DVD release by Anchor Bay and Manga Entertainment restores about three to six minutes to the unrated cut of the film (depending on which version you watch), though most of the additions go by unnoticed, save for a much longer Chun Li vs. Vega(Us.)/Balrog(Jp.) fight and the some full frontal Chun Li nudity. The tale of Ryu’s quest for skills, and M.Bison (Us.)/Vega(Jp.)’s quest for world domination through recruitment of the best fighters in the world is a little less interesting that it was in my youth, but still pretty darn good when it comes to Video Game films. For those who haven’t seen it, every Street Fighter II character makes an appearance; Even Akuma, in a brief background cameo. Worth noting is the fact the Japanese version has a far more laid back soundtrack than the British KMFDM version, and could possibly put some of the audience to sleep. Special features are near non existent, with only a collection of Manga trailers and character bios with accompanying video clips. But, as it is priced under $15 this disc is a pretty nice deal.

Stray Cat Rock: Sex Hunter
Never before have so many hapas been assembled in a single film. The third in the stray Cat Rock series, this sees Meiko Kaji and her girl gang at odds with The Eagles, an all male gang whose racist, xenophobic leader has declared war on “halfbreeds.” As the liner notes detail, this film was made at the height of the half-fad, which permeated everything from music (evidenced by the band featured in the film, Golden Half) to the cinema, and as such the film makes an admirable attempt at preaching the evils of racism, while dealing with the wounds imparted by Americans in post-war Japan. Director Yasuharu Hasebe (Female Prisoner #701 Scropion: Grudge Song)’s treatment of gangland violence is gleefully excessive, though when evaluated under the scope of a girl-gang film it falls a bit short. The girls really only have two scenes of action, one involving maltov cocktails thrown at some pervo-Europeans, and the other a very brief knife fight between Kaji and an underling. Kaji fans will most likely want to check this one out, but for the rest of you, there’s no need to rush.

About the Author

Chris Nelson is a Java Developer and contract Technical Writer living in the Silicon Valley. He has been a film fan since age six. He ventured out of his basement abode at age 17. He is now married to the most wonderful woman in the world.